Chocolate Pudding Pack
by jinkiez
Summary: Cartman will never forget what happened in pre-school that made him hate Kyle so much.


Cartman frowned from across the board game, throwing his card pile up in the air. "This is not fyairrr! You cheated, you sneaky asshole!"

"Nuh uh. You had a queen, my card is higher. See?" Kyle put his card in the air to show.

"You just put that there so that you could cheat and win! You're bluffing! It's a lie!" the big boned boy argued.

"Right. How could I have put the card there when Kenny dealt them out?" Kyle rolled his eyes.

Cartman looked at Kenny, glinting at him like he knew a secret. "Kenny, you did it! I bet he paid you, didn't he? No, that wouldn't be very Jewish of him. He probably offered you a quarter to set me up so I'd lose, am I right?"

Kenny shrugged and shook his head. "Mhmphh mphh. Mmph mph mhphh mphhmh mph."

Stan sighed. "Kenny's completely right, this is retarded. Whenever we play a game of any kind, all you guys do is argue over who cheated." he crossed his arms then laid his head in them, bored as hell.

"He started it!" Kyle pointed at Cartman.

"No, you started it, you greedy jew!"

"Don't call me a greedy jew!"

"But you are, Kahl. You are a no good, lying, cheating rat."

By then, Kyle was pissed and about to throw his own cards. "Says the one who is always scheming or eating food! You're so fucking fat! I bet you weigh at least _a ton_."

Cartman shook his head in disbelief. "See, you guys? I told you Kyle is always the first to start this immaturity, jesus. I'm not even fat! The proper term is _big boned_."

Stan sighed. "Do you realize you guys have been having the same arguments since preschool?" he yawned. "It's really getting old now."

"Mmphh mhpph mphh mphh." Kenny added.

"Yeah." Stan nodded. "And I'm pretty sure Cartman started this all, anyway. Remember, Cartman? On the very first day of preschool, you made fun of Kyle for being Jewish."

Cartman rubbed his temple, then it all came flooding back to him. The memories, the horrible memories. "Oh..I remember it. It's sometimes hard to forget. The day Kahl stole my pudding."

"I didn't really _steal _your pudding, you had five of them on your plate." Kyle said, defending himself.

"You stole it, there's no denying it!"

"Alright, so I took _one _of your puddings. What kind of four year old needs to eat five of them anyway?"

"If I remember correctly, Kahl, you not only _stole _one of the chocolate puddings off my tray but _also_ told me I was so fat that I didn't need it."

"Well it was true! You had fucking five of them! And you_ were _fat! And I was hungry!"

"That still doesn't excuse the fact that you stole it off my tray. Which proves my theory that all Jews are no good thieves."

"Jesus christ, it was a fucking 50 cent pudding pack! Just let it go already!"

"Kahl, do you know how bad my day was? I was so looking forward to that fifth pudding, but instead I had to deal with watching you eat it. I couldn't steal it back after you had already put your Jew germs on it. And then I had to deal with a gnawing, empty sensation in my stomach all day. I was almost emaciated by the time I got home."

Kyle closed his eyes, shaking his head. "You can't become emaciated in one day when you weigh double that of everyone else! It's impossible."

Cartman waved his arm. "Don't start your science bullcrap with me! My mother even asked me how my day went. I had to force a smile and say it all went well, when it really didn't! Watching you eat my delicious snack with that sadistic smug look on your face, it made me _sick."_

Kyle threw his hands up. "That's it, I give up. I'm out of here."

"Nuh uh!" Cartman pushed Kyle out of the way, scrambling for the door before he could. "I'm leaving first! You're all a bunch of...immature idiots! Screw you gahs, I'm going home!" he made a gesture pointing towards "home" and then stomped out, clearly upset.

Kyle shrugged and then sat back down on the floor, where he started shuffling through his pile of cards again.

"Wow, that's like the 47th time that's worked." Stan grinned.

"Told you, whenever you mention the pudding thing he gets pissed off and leaves."

"Yeah, we'll have to try that more often."

"Mmph." Kenny nodded.


End file.
